.......That who is not a son

It was my 9th standard Telugu class when I read it. The meaning of the word, "putrudu"(son) as per the puranas. It was "punnama narakam nundi tappinchu vaadu", which translates in English to "the one that helps his parents escape hell." More specifically, punnama narakam, which is a special hell, a more advanced hell, if you may, where childless people and sonless people are kept.

After reading it, I was naturally curious to find out what "putrika" or daughter meant in the puranas. I tried finding it in my textbook and as I flipped the pages, I found one poem which had the word "putrika". I quickly turned the page for the meaning which was given at the end of the leasson. 

"Putrika" means "kumarte", it read. Kumarte also means daughter, I already knew that. I was disappointed that putrika was not given a cool, heavy duty meaning like "putrudu".Hell, it was not even given a meaning. Somehow, I found that none of my friends were as bothered about it as I was. For them, all that mattered was that, that poem was ridiculously complicated and that they have to by- heart it before ma'am comes back. And they actually were right. So, I went back to reading the poem and pushed this little thought away.

I didn't know back then, however, that it didn't go very far back into my brain and it kept resurfacing at the most unexpected of times after that and changed the way I looked at the world.

Now, 14 years later, Feminism is one of the most widely discussed subjects in the world. Women world over are fighting for equal rights, equal pay, equal standing, equal respect and equal oppurtunities. Does that mean we would also be equally capable of rescuing our parents from Punnama Narakam or maybe doing something even more heroic? Will we finally be given a "solid" meaning of atleast 5 words? Have the heavens been notified of the changing trends down here? 

And if we were to be given a meaning, what would it be?

I mean, between giving equal study opportunities, paying those insane college fees and spending more than their status for opulent weddings and then some more for their babies (Really! what's the deal with baby care products costing a fortune?It's a baby!!), what exactly are daughters helping their parents escape? There is a part of me inside which is feeling indignant at this line. Even angry but it knows and so do I that I can deny it as much as I want but this is the existing truth. Atleast in the society in which I grew up and I am still a part of. And I am not making false claims or judging anyone without evidence.I have seen it happen around me.

But that is no reason to say that feminism should not be encouraged. However, with the pseudo-intellectual section of the society throwing in the word rather flippantly in their writings, talks, images and movies, the meaning of the word has been diluted to a very large extent. Having said that, I am still happy that one way or the other, the word is being drilled into our brains at a subconscious level thereby always keeping the dialogue open. The meaning of the phenomenon has not been finalized yet and so there is still chance of bringing in some clarity, some debate and some more thoughts.

Putrika- Daughter

I have two contrasting scenarios in my head and I really want to know which one of these is feminism.
Scenario 1- A girl is educated on par with the boys and given equal opportunities, she gets married when and if and how she wants to get married. Shares the household work alongwith her husband while continuing her career. Continues working even during her pregnancy and doesn't break a sweat. Comes back to job soon after childbirth, arranging it with the elders of the family to look after her kids. Excels in her job, brings equal if not more income to the table. She and her decisons are as respected in the family as her husband's are.

Scenario 2- A girl is educated on par with the boys and then she gets married, never allowing her father to spend all of his savings on her wedding and then chooses to be a home maker while her husband brings home the bread. She manages home, raises her kids in the way she wants to, shares her knowledge with them, imparts values and wisdom that her education has helped her learn to her kids, looks after the health and well being of her family and despite not financially contributing to the family budget, is given equal importance in decision making in the family and her views are as respected as the husband's are.

Which one of these defines feminism better. Do both of them mean the same or are they different things? Are respect and education linked? I don't believe they are. A person should not be respected because of his/her gender but because of their values and principles.

And as far as being as independent as boys is concerned, which obviously includes being able to stay out late, not being judged on your clothes, not being judged for your choices and having complete control over your life, I believe there is unfortunately still a long way to go to achieve that because as much as we know because of our education and upbringing that it is the right way, there is still a large part of our society which is stuck in the patriarchal time capsule because of the lack of education of the previous generation, poverty, lack of opportunities and even social structure. So, until all these issues are dealt with, we can only look at the singular changes that we can bring from our side like educating the next generations about the changing times.

Apart from that I think there is another very important thing that has to be done even before all these things and that is to include a definition for "Putrika" in the puranas and if there is one already, include it in the telugu textbooks so that a girl never again will have to keep pondering over a memory for years together. Just let it be known that a daughter has the same role as that of a son. She can help them escape hell too.

Putrika - Punnama narakam nundi tappinchunadi.

.......that who is not a son.